When someone begins a quest into the world of online dating, they usually go into it somewhat blind. They know they want a date and/or a relationship, but beyond that, usually, haven’t thought much about what they might be looking for other than the occasional fantasy about finding George Clooney or Jessica Alba online. Going into online dating unprepared usually causes frustration and listlessness that causes one to give up the search for the one they are looking for.
Enter goal setting for online dating. Gives it a bit of a business feel, but assuredly, it is anything but. It ensures that you find the person you are looking for in the least amount of time without hitting numerous brick walls in your search. So, how do you begin setting goals for your online dating search? What sort of goals should you set? Here are a few tips to get you started not only in online dating but also finding success with dating in general.
- Before you sign up for any service, write down what it is you hope to find in a partner. Don’t censor yourself. Don’t just limit yourself to personality descriptions, either. While it’s good to be realistic, it’s also bad to be your own personal voice of doom. If you like tall men, write that down. Sure, you might find someone who is under 5’7” who particularly fits your fancy once you get into your search, but at least now you have a starting point.
- Make sure you make a list of important shared interests. If you’re hoping to find that certain someone who would want to see Broadway shows with you, then it’s imperative to make sure you don’t settle for someone who will only grumble throughout the show. It might seem petty, but down the line, these little things WILL matter if the interest is one that is important to you.
- Know what it is you want. Do you want a serious relationship? Do you simply want someone to have fun with? Are you looking for marriage? Someone, to have children with? All these are important questions you must ask yourself before you begin. If you’ve spent any time at all watching talk shows, you know that it’s impossible to change a person. Don’t set your sights on someone who’s profile says they don’t want children when you know that you certainly do. This is a very bad foot to start out on.
- Set deadlines for new potential love interests. Sometimes, you have to warm up to someone, but you also can’t force it. If you set yourself a deadline of two dates for the interest to really spark, then you won’t find yourself still stuck in the same ho-hum cycle two months from that first date waiting for love to strike.
- Know what you won’t put up with. If you’re a teetotaler, you’re not going to want to date someone who has to have a drink every time they are out. If you’re an atheist, chances are you’re going to encounter issues down the line with someone who is a church regular. Note all these things before going in and study the profile of anyone you contact or who contacts you to make sure you won’t have these issues come up in the future.
Above all, make a pact with yourself that you won’t simply stick like glue to someone who you’re only moderately interested in because you’re determined to find “someone.” In the end, you’ll only wish that you had been a bit pickier.
Overall, enjoy the process and have fun. The more you enjoy it, the more worthy prospects you will attract and soon, you’ll find that there’s a whole world of options out there for you. Enjoy!